1. A Dog is Not a Girlfriend
I don't know what's sadder, the eaten cake and spilled wine or the fact that he had this dinner for two on his birthday.
Totally meant to do that. It was a hot day, what else do you do?
3. As If Cleaning Up After Strangers Wasn't Crappy Enough
Then you throw in a live squirrel and a maid's day just got extra shitty.
4. Extreme? Not at All.
Anybody who has stepped in their neighbor's dog's shit as they are running late for work TOTALLY understands this threat.
5. Lawn Looks....Good?
When your Scotts fertilizer gets accidentally switched with weed killer and sprayed on your perfectly coiffed lawn....
6. That's As Fail as Fail Gets
5 Second Five-Footlong Rule?
7. Chill Out, Kid.
This isn't even horrible, we just included it because irrationally scared kids are the most hilarious beings on earth.