Stupid Mistakes Driverless Cars Won’t Make

11. Navigation System Error Crash

Ever hear about people following directions from their navigation system and ending up in a pond? I bet you eight dollars a human was driving that car. Along with GPS, driverless cars use gyroscopes, accelerometers, and altimeters to more accurately judge where you are so you actually can get to your destination.

12. Texting Crash

Yes, “It Can Wait,” but damn is it difficult to. It’s been proven that texting can leave drivers more impaired than if they were drunk, and is an especially deadly killer amongst young drivers. Your car doesn’t have any friends to text (you know, because of the gas) so in the future texting behind the wheel won’t be an issue.

13. Other Guy Being an Idiot Crash

As Winnie the Pooh said, “Humans are unpredictable, so you always have to drive defensively, and even that isn’t enough all the time.” Pooh bear is correct, thanks Pooh. Luckily, in the future humans won’t be driving so the only human you’ll need to depend on is the underpaid worker that assembled your car.

14. Friends Racing Each Other Crash

Grease made it cool for high school kids to race each other again. And since it’s not the 1860’s anymore and there aren’t abandoned roads, the kids have to race on the highways. This ends tragically all too often. Shame on you John Travolta. Shame….on you John Travolta.

15. Blind Spot Crash

Humans can only look one way at a time. 360 degree cameras, like the one attached to Google’s driverless car, can look all ways at a time. You’ve got better odds sneaking up on a gang of ninjas than you do this super camera, and the first step in preventing an accident is spotting the car that’s about to hit you.

16. Old People Crash

For having slower reflexes, shaky hands, and being blind, old people are overall decent enough. But the days of them barreling into drug stores when they could’ve sworn they were in reverse are over with the advent of driverless cars. This way, old people get to keep their “freedom,” and the rest of us get to keep “living.”

17. Old People Crash

For having slower reflexes, shaky hands, and being blind, old people are overall decent enough. But the days of them barreling into drug stores when they could’ve sworn they were in reverse are over with the advent of driverless cars. This way, old people get to keep their “freedom,” and the rest of us get to keep “living.”

18. Cars Don't Crash, Humans Do

95% of car accidents are due to human error. Driverless cars are finally coming to save us from ourselves. It turns out there IS a Google!

19. Asleep at the Wheel Crash

Your car wasn’t out all night with Tim and Frank drunkenly testing the integrity of glass bottles. Therefore it’s not going to fall asleep at the wheel-s (ziiing). And if it’s running low on gas it will tell you, then drive itself to get some more.

20. Drunk Driving Crash

Your car doesn’t mind being that dude by the bar with a can of Coke. If everyone’s car drove home from the bars then lives would be saved and MADD would go back to just being the name of a stupid magazine. The car won’t hold your hair back as you puke into the toilet, but I’m sure there’s an app for that.